End, And Begin Again
by Marion the Geek
Summary: Suprisingly not really angst. The day Bobby Goren retires from the NYPD. It's fluffy, really. You just have to get far enough in. So maybe it has a little angst. Stand Alone Oneshot. BA


Author's Note: This was an awful little plot bunny that had been rolling around in my head for a while. I hope you enjoy this one-shot. I wrote it straight through in one sitting.

Disclaimer: Not mine, but I can wish.

Title: End, And Begin Again

By: Marion

Alex Eames promised herself she wasn't going to cry. She almost had when he first told her. Today was Robert Goren's last day on the force. Her partner of the last fifteen years. Her best friend, though she'd never found the words to tell him.

Bobby had turned fifty-five years old a few months back. His hair was a lot more salt and a lot less pepper. His baby face even had a few lines around those big brown eyes. His arthritic knee had been bothering him lately. He couldn't run like he used to.

"It's time to put this old horse out to pasture," he'd told his forty nine year old partner. "Before someone decides to put me down."

He'd agreed to teach profiling seminars at the academy and to consult here and there. He'd be around, he assured her. She hadn't known what to say.

Fifteen years. That was twice as long as she'd been with her husband. She felt a tear roll down her cheek as she drove toward One Police Plaza and the eleventh floor that would never be the same.

She thought back to the beginning. He was so different than anyone she'd ever worked with. She remembered the first time she'd seen him sniff a corpse. She remembered feeling left out of the workings of his mind. How he barely noticed she was there. How she'd found him insufferable.

She remembered the first time he'd smiled at one of her jokes. The way he tilted his head when he had an idea. The gleam in his eyes when he had something good. When a case was nearly solved. The way they'd verbally dance in the interrogation room. How they seemed to communicate without words.

They'd had their rough patches. All partners do. But they got through them all. Their partnership was something extraordinary. Fifteen years. How was she ever going to be able to deal with a new partner after working with Bobby Goren for fifteen years?

She wondered if she'd be the weird one this time. Bobby had rubbed off on her some, she was sure. She doubted she'd ever think of anyone else as her partner. He was her partner. Her Bobby. Another tear broke free as she pulled into the garage at 1PP.

She parked and gave in to the tears for a moment. Today there would be a party. Today they would celebrate his 23 years on the NYPD. And Today he would say "Good night, Eames" just like he always did. But tomorrow he wouldn't be there with coffee and a muffin and a smile. He wouldn't be there to tell her "Good morning."

Bobby Goren was more than her partner. He was her reason for getting out of bed in the morning. He was her life. He saw the worst in people but he always saw the good in them too. He brought out the best in her. She didn't know what she'd do with out him.

She looked in her rearview mirror when she'd managed to stop her tears. Her mascara had run. That would be a tell. Alex Eames did not cry. She took a napkin from the glove compartment and wiped away the smudges. She waited a few minutes, taking some deep breaths. She hoped no one would notice how red her eyes were.

Steeling herself she left the sanctuary of her car and walked toward the elevator.

xxx

She managed to be strong as they finished up the paperwork on their last case. She managed to hold back the tears when he began to clean off his desk.

"Here," he said. "I'd… I'd like you to have this." She couldn't speak as he handed her his worn leather binder. She smiled sadly at him and fought the tears with all her might. She turned away as one slipped out.

She was saved from him seeing by the rest of the squad. They were rolling in an enormous cake with the words "We'll Miss You, Goren" scrawled across it.

A lot of people came to wish him well. Captains past and present. People he'd known at the academy or worked with in Narcotics. Old members of Major Case.

"I never thought I'd see the day," said Mike Logan, raising his glass in a toast. "To Bobby Goren. The best detective this city ever saw and one of the best men I ever met."

Everyone raised his or her glass high. Bobby blushed a little and shook Mike's hand. "I'll miss you, Logan," he said.

"You better still go for a beer with me from time to time," said Mike.

"Count on it," said Bobby.

Mike clapped him on the back. "You take care of yourself, man."

"You too," said Bobby.

"Being retired isn't so bad," said Jimmy Deakins, teasingly. "You might find you like it."

"Oh, I intend to make the most of it, sir," said Bobby.

"Please drop this sir crap," said Jimmy. "I haven't been your CO in ten years." Bobby nodded and smiled. "And don't be a stranger, okay?"

"I won't," said Bobby, shaking his old Captain's hand. Jimmy pulled him into a quick hug.

"It was an honor to have worked with you, son," he said. Bobby looked like he might be fighting tears of his own.

"You too," he said.

"I'm glad I also had the honor," said Captain Danny Ross. He shook Bobby's hand. "It's going to be boring around here without you to try my patience."

"Oh, I'll be around, sir," said Bobby with a smile. "I wouldn't want you to be bored."

Ross returned the smile and patted Bobby on the shoulder.

"I…" Bobby cleared his throat loudly. "I would like to propose a toast. To Alex Eames. For putting up with me for fifteen years. The bravest, most loyal person I've ever known. The best partner I ever had."

Alex gave up the fight as everyone raised their glasses to her. Two heavy tears rolled down her cheeks. She sniffed and went to hug him, not something they'd done very often. "You're the best partner I ever had," she said. "It… it won't be the same around here without you."

Bobby stepped away from her gently and wiped a tear from her cheek with his hand. "Eames… Alex, I… I want to ask you something." He was nervous. What on earth was he nervous about?

"I know it's… well it's sudden," he said. "And I'll understand if… if you laugh in my face." Alex was confused. She had no idea what he was going on about.

He took her hand. "I just don't think I can live without you in my life," he said. He gingerly eased himself down on one knee before her.

Alex's eyes were as big and round as saucers. She felt her knees going weak. Her heart was pounding so loud she was sure everyone must be able to hear it. He couldn't be serious. He couldn't be about to do what it looked like he was about to do.

He looked up at her, his eyes hopeful. "Alexandra Eames, will you marry me?"

She felt faint. She didn't know what to say. She'd forgotten how to speak. He'd never kissed her. He'd never…

Bobby's face fell and he looked down. "I… I'm sorry," he said. He'd taken her shocked silence as a refusal. "I know it was foolish of me. But I had to try."

Her eyes filled with tears as a smile tugged at her lips. "I will," she said, but no sound came out. She tried again. "I will."

His eyes were back to hers. "You will?" His eyes grew large.

"Yes," she said. "I will."

Bobby surged to his feet amongst a cacophony of cheers and applause. He pulled her to him in a fierce bear hug, tears running down his own cheeks. He pulled back after a moment. They stared at each other, teary eyed and smiling. He swallowed. "May I… may I kiss you?" he asked, his voice raw with emotion.

Her smile grew wider. "I wish you would," she said.

He put his arms around her, tipping her back ever so slightly. His lips met hers, lightly at first. Then more insistently. It was like fireworks. It was like magic.

Mike let out a wolf whistle.

Bobby and Alex were breathless when their lips finally parted. Bobby cupped her cheek in his hand. "There are a couple things I've wanted to tell you for a long time," he said. "But I wasn't allowed."

She looked up into his bashful brown eyes.

"You are so beautiful," he said. "And I love you, with all my heart."

Fresh tears formed in Alex's eyes as she reached up to touch his face. She ran her fingers along his stubble. "I love you, too."

Bobby kissed her tears away and their lips met again.

THE END

Author's Note: I made myself cry as I wrote this. I really hope you like it. Reviews are always appreciated.


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